Pink Champagne on Ice

Rural Entrepreneurship

2007-03-18T23:14:00.000+05:30

More than 17% of humanity inhabiting only 2.4% of the planet's landmass, speaking 800 different languages and 2000 different dialects, living across diversiform landscapes ranging from the most arduous of mountains to 7600 km of coastline, lush arable plains to the arid deserts, rainforests, hills and plateaus make India a country sui generis. Such uniqueness gives rise to autochthonous problems that require especial solutions.

If we observe our surroundings, we will find that a shamefully small percentage of innovations and technologies assisting our daily lives are indigenous; even among those that address issues very specific to India. For example, Indians use the pressure cooker bounteously, perhaps more than any other country, as it is well suited for our culinary requirements. However, we discovered the aptness of this innovation only when it was well established in other nations by the 1940s.
Chapatis have been on plates of North Indians since time immemorial. Yet, there has been no attempt to mechanize or technologically assist the process of their preparation. It was only recently that electric tortilla-makers for the popular Mexican dish were adapted into roti-makers for the Indian market.

The underlying theme in all such observations is the stark reality that Indians are not solving their problems themselves. Our problems are just that: our problems. Hence they require our solutions. The extent to which foreign ideas can benefit us are limited.

Over 70% of Indians live in her 550,000 villages. It is the life of people in these towns and villages that truly reflect the health of India. Gandhi strongly believed that it was, as it always has been, in India's villages that the answers to her problems would have to be found. Although a wave of advancement is breathing new life into the mega-cities of Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata, Chennai, Bangalore etc, the villages and towns cannot count on business recruitment or outside investment to lift them up. They must learn to utilize the skills, talents and resources in their own communities.

This brings us to the concept of Rural Entrepreneurship – simple ideas that can change the lives of those millions living in rural and sub-urban India. The educated young minds of India graduating from established universities like the Indian Institutes of Technology (IITs) have successfully earned the respect of the entire world, occupying top positions in techno-commercial sectors everywhere. However, they have failed to realize and seize the opportunities in their own country. Rural India is a unique market waiting to be tapped, the likes of which do not exist anywhere else in the world. Imagine the millions that can be reached by a simple innovation at the grass-root level! A novel design for a simple gas-stove reducing present costs by even thirty rupees can open up a colossal market. What can be better than earning money while having the gratification of serving society? Opportunities are galore if only we look for them. The youth of India needs to extend their ambitions beyond joining jobs with MNCs or migrating abroad, and open their eyes to realize the potential of bottom-up entrepreneurship.

The White Revolution during the 1970s is a beautiful example of the power of Rural India. The success of Amul, the company at the helm of this operation, needs no introduction. The simple idea of making modern management and technology available to village milk producers' cooperatives and creating a nationwide milk grid has resulted in making India one of the largest milk and milk products producer in the world. Along with handsome returns to Amul, it has also helped resolve malpractices by milk traders and merchants. Dairy farmers now have control over their development. Seasonal and regional price variations have been reduced and there is a guarantee of supply all over the country. Thus offering fair prices to consumers, Amul has become a household name in India.

Villages in certain regions of India (e.g. Central Rajasthan, Kumaon region of Uttaranchal etc.) have a tradition of exquisite handicrafts skills. Unfortunately, residents of these areas are not economically sound to indulge in the luxury of weaving and spinning. Moreover, artisans are unable to eke out a dignified living by their skills. Very low returns for this craft have discouraged the new generation from taking it up as a livelihood option. Simple initiatives by organizations like Avani (www.avani-kumaon.org) are changing lives of people in such far-flung villages of India. They recruit skilled craftswomen and men from these villages and provide them with the raw material and infrastructure to create exotic handicrafts. In return the artisans are given a comfortable compensation and a guaranteed livelihood. There is a very attractive market for such fabrics in India and abroad. This simple idea not only has impressive returns but also helps to preserve and revive the traditional crafts of rural India.

These were just a few examples demonstrating the potency of Rural Entrepreneurship. There are several such opportunities in the multitude of villages waiting to be discovered. We just need to open our eyes and expand our horizons.

When in doubt...

2006-11-09T12:39:00.000+05:30

We all have our moments of doubt. Times when you seem to question the intendment in everything you are doing; times when it all feels mundane; times when life feels so run-of-the-mill. And you are just a zombie going through the motions, day after day after day. The taste buds of life feel dead!

There are short term remedies: the classics, like hanging out with friends or a drunken night at the club hopefully followed by some smashing ‘home runs’ etc. But till you get to the root of the cause, pain killers soon become unresponsive.

(Un)fortunately, humans have evolved much beyond the point where our genetic instincts govern our lives. Look at animals, for instance. Life is a picnic, isn’t it? Hunting for food, mating, and protecting the cubs! Humans, of course, have another dimension in life…‘career’, without which you are just a nomad. While the ‘animal’ side of things come naturally to us…they are genetically ingrained in our behaviour…the ‘career’ does not. Perhaps this extra level of existence is what inspired Descartes to his theory of animal and human spirits.

I can’t speak for others, but this is especially true for an engineering student. You might love what you do at most times, but there will always be phases when it just feels worthless and every other profession seems more exciting.

It was one such day in Singapore when I got into a cab to go to a friends place. The driver was a Singaporean/Chinese. He was the talkative, cheerful sorts. Although I was not in that mood, he tried his best to make some conversation despite his pathetic English.

Cabbie: “Are you from India, Sir?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Cabbie: “Do you study in Singapore?”

Me: “Yeah. But I am here for just 4 months on a student exchange program.” (in my head, I was wondering if he actually knew what an exchange program meant)

Cabbie: “Where in India are you from? Delhi? Mumbai? Chennai? Kolkata? Bangalore? Hyderabad? …”

Me: “I’m from Delhi. That’s an impressive list of Indian cities you know!” (All I could think about China was Beijing (because it’s the capital) and Shanghai (because of that Jackie Chan movie))

Cabbie: “Ah! Delhi…the city of the Red Fort and Qutub Minar! So who is the chief minister of Delhi these days? Is it still Sheila Dixit?”

Me (dumbfounded): “Wow! That’s awesome. You sure know a LOT about my country. Yes, Sheila Dixit is still the chief minister” (And, I made a mental note of checking out chief ministers of all Indian states to avoid any possible embarrassing situation. The list can be found here: http://www.sarkaritel.com/states/chief_minister.htm )

“So where are you from?”

Cabbie: “My ancestors are from China. But I’ve always lived in Singapore.”

[pause]…during which I was desperately trying to recall the names of the 7 eastern states.

Cabbie: “In Delhi, which college do you study at?”

Me: “Actually, I study in Kanpur; it’s about 500 km East of Delhi.” (Surely, he wouldn’t have heard of Kanpur)

Cabbie: “Ah of course! Isn’t one of the IITs in that city?”

By this time, my mouth was wide open in awe; and probably a bit of shame. A Chinese cab driver in Singapore knew infinitely more about my country than I, one of the most educated 20 year old citizens of India, knew about his country!

Me: “I study at IIT Kanpur! I must say, you have exceptional knowledge about India. It’s really surprising! How come you have heard of the IITs?”

Cabbie: "Well, Sir, let me tell you something. My parents did not have enough money to educate me beyond secondary school. It’s true that I am just a 45 year old cab driver, as I have been for the last 22 years, and probably always will be. But, times have changed. If you have a desire to learn, even a person like me has access to any information. I like to read and keep myself updated with what is happening in the world. The internet is available to everyone, and it’s a wonderful thing."

It was wonderful to see this old cab driver still having the zeal of life, even after doing probably the most monotonous of jobs in the world, day after day after day for over 2 decades. I guess its up to you to find what inspires you, what spurs you on in doing whatever it is you do.

Cabbie: "And, India is our neighbouring country with excellent relations with Singapore. Besides, the IITs are always in the news because of all the smart guys! From what I have read, India is becoming very popular because of IIT graduates occupying top corporate, scientific and industrial positions all over the world!"

I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but this was a sort of an eye-opener. Being a student at IIT comes with a responsibility that we often do not realize. The tax-payer’s money is being spent on training us. The country associates its pride with brand-IIT. The world recognizes this name…a Chinese cab driver associated it with India!

The vision with which the IITs were setup was to produce not just skilled technical manpower who could be employed in the industry, but to produce employers who had a vision of their own to return to the country more than what they had received.

You don’t need to be a nationalist to see how petty your moments of doubt are when things are put in perspective. When in a quandary about the worth of what I’m doing, I think of the expectations of people who are paying for it, i.e. the taxpayers of India. Even if you are not a jingo, as long as you have self-pride, you would want to return the favour of those who are supporting you.

If you look at the body of 180,000-odd IITians around the world, they have created a niche for themselves in the world; a position where they command respect in varied range from technological areas, to techno-commercial areas, to business leadership, to social service to politics. Consider India, be it the nuclear programme, defence research or space research – most of these are manned by IIT-ians on the technology side. People who work very closely with the President are IIT-ians. The cream of academia in the country is from the IITs. In India alone, about 1,500 CEOs are IIT-ians. IIT is perhaps the only institute recognized by the House Resolution 227 of the House of Representatives in the US. About 30% of NASA scientists are from IIT. Several IITians run the show at numerous companies in the US, UK, India, rest of Europe, Singapore, Bangkok etc. The list goes on. My point here is the cumulative responsibilities this puts on the shoulders of each graduating batch of IITians. It is up to them to uphold the tradition, to honour the principles that IIT stands for. My motto – when in doubt, remember this duty that you have towards yourself, towards IIT, towards India; and if you don’t care about all that, then at least to those people who paid for your education – the people of India.

Okay...enough of the gay crap!

Fade To Black

2006-10-22T01:24:00.000+05:30


a ray of light tears away all darkness...but not this time!! they wanted to return .. but they drove to far. ...fade to black

http://TheCrazyWorld.outThere

2006-03-16T15:07:00.000+05:30

A few days back, I got the following messages on my Yahoo Messenger from an ID which was unknown to me:

[Some-Y!-ID]: Hi! I am Shikha Chawla.
[Some-Y!-ID]: You don’t know me, but I also live in New Delhi…and the same colony as you!!
[Some-Y!-ID]: Well, I just read your blog…its really very nice  . I esp liked the ‘happiness is a warm gun’ one….reminded me of the good ol’ school days …
[Some-Y!-ID]: I don’t remember seeing you around in the block, though. Since when have you lived in B-10?
[Some-Y!-ID]: So…you’re in IIT haan? That’s impressive. I always wanted to do computer engg myself.
[Some-Y!-ID]: Anyways…looks like you’re not around your computer at the moment. Do get back to me when you come back.
[Some-Y!-ID]: bbyeee! 

I had just returned sleepyheaded from a killingly boring Algorithms class when these messages jolted me out of my moony mental mood.
Some random entity from the eerie terra incognita of the world wide web not only knew my name, but also where I lived, where I studied, what I studied…and God only knows what else! This sent a chill rocketing down my spine. Was it that easy to trace someone on the net? For the next few minutes, I placed myself in the shoes of a stranger with the aim of tracing Siddharth Jain, given just his blog. It took me all of 3 minutes to realize how ridiculously facile it was to dig out amazing amounts of information on any person.
If we forget all the facts willingly disclosed in the posts on this blog, a simple Google Search itself reveals all there is to know! After a few initial results on Siddharth Jain the badminton player and Siddharth Jain the CEO of Zee Turner, it’s my turn! The alumni webpage of my school confirms my identity with a photograph that matches the one on my blog, and also informs the world that Siddharth Jain of Vasant Valley School is now studying Computer Science and Engineering at IIT Kanpur. With this additional knowledge, a quick modification in the search string on Google opens up a whole sea of new information. First in line is my IITK homepage that contains my resume along with my exact address of residence. All personal information on online forums like orkut is another massive source of information.
I repeated this exercise on some random people from hi5 (www.hi5.com) with similar success. I even managed to find mobile phone number for a couple of people.
It’s natural to feel a bit insecure after this revelation, but I can take solace in that fact that I’m not important enough for someone to be actually Googling for me! Being a relatively unpicturesque guy, the possibility of a rapist stalker zeroing in on my location is also ruled out, thank the lord (which reminds me…pretty girls should be extra cautious!).

This entire exercise also made me wonder what a company like Google could do with the colossal reservoirs of information they have on personal lives of a large part of the online world. Have you ever speculated on why Google would offer services like orkut and blogger free of cost? They don’t make any money out of them - and that’s a well known fact. Think about it…Google has access to all our e-mails (Gmail is fast becoming the preferred mail service), personal information that we keep stored on forums like orkut, patterns in our academic interests (through questions that we post on newsgroups). They also have an idea about our monetary strength (at least for people who use froogle). There was once a workshop on hacking at our college where a well known internet security professional, Sachin Deodhar, talked about the technique of ‘Google-Hacking’. He demonstrated how a seemingly innocuous Google Search, if smart enough, can actually reveal Credit Card numbers from Google-Caches of personal e-mails! Assuming someone’s identity (or even creating an unsuspicious non-existent identity) is only a few clicks away. It’s a scary world out there!

Coming back to those messages that I received; it’s an accepted reality that the locality I live in, in New Delhi, is home to the most gorgeous of females in all of Delhi. With my ‘man-brain’ taking control as soon as the initial shock subsided, I promptly sent a few positive replies to those IMs. This is what she had to say after that:

[Some-Y!-ID]: great 
[Some-Y!-ID]: from what I know of you, I think I’ll really like you. Do you want to meet sometime when you’re in Delhi?

It was only once she had said it, did I realize how weird this whole scene was. It’s eerie enough to make unknown online ‘friends’/’acquaintances’ but actually meeting someone with the possibility of dating is way too spooky. I’ve known people to actually have a get-together with their online ‘friends’, but I don’t think I can ever do such a thing. Well, I told this to her; and it probably offended her (though she didn’t show it)….and that was it *sigh*. I just hope she wasn’t a hot nymphomaniac!

Moods of Tragedy

2006-03-04T18:24:00.000+05:30

When the feeling's gone and you can't go on...it's tragedy!

The infinite loop:

0 DENIAL: "Noooooh....this didn't just happen.";
goto 1;

1 ACRIMONY-I: "Man! what CRRRRAP. *thump on the table* It's all his fault...this never should have happened";
goto 2;

2 BARGAINING: "Ok...how about this: I'll give you *whisper-in-the-ear* ... this way everyone's happy and there's no tragedy.";
goto 3;

3 BEGGING: "Oh Come Onnn! Have a heart.";
goto 4;

4 ACRIMONY-II: "Son of a @^$%*&@ BITCH!";
goto 5;

5 FRUSTRATION:

goto 6;

6 DEPRESSION: "well...i guess this is it then...*sigh*";
"jab dil hi toot gaya...";
"dost dost na raha...";
goto 7;

7 PHILOSOPHICAL: "everything happens for a reason";
"perhaps God wanted this to happen. Maybe its a test";
"When the going gets tough, the tough get going";
"This is an important experience...one must never walk away from tragedy. Rather we must face it, study it and conquer it...use its hidden assets.";
goto 8;

8 ACCEPTANCE: "I'll have a large coke and a pepperoni pizza, please.";
goto 9;

9 REVIVAL: Some guy on the way: "Dude..I heard about what happened. I'm really sorry....I know how it feels.";
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh..........;
goto 0;

Carpe Diem, Baby!

2006-02-27T23:08:00.000+05:30

Prerequisite: http://egoistichedonism.blogspot.com/2006/02/happiness-is-warm-gun.html

Realizing this 'forced happiness' was like crossing the Rubicon. I've been subconsciously, involuntarily rummaging through my thoughts seeking an answer, an explanation, a solution...anything. It gets rather peevish when you are unable to explain your own behavior.

Following conventions has become so ingrained in our psyche that we subliminally seek happiness and satisfaction in living by the societal protocols. Of course, all that society deems correct is not totally devoid of rationale; but I feel we must not be bound by these rules as tightly as most of us are. Perhaps, happiness feels forced when we are seeking it in the wrong place.

A difficile task it indeed is; but if we just try to reset our priorities, and listen to that inner voice more often, it clears this smog hovering over life. Long terms goals will always, naturally, be what society regards important. This should not interfere with the happiness of each moment.

Carpe Diem!

The Chipko Movement

2006-02-18T20:39:00.000+05:30

For the first seventeen years of my life, I lived in the divine city of New Delhi. That was before I packed my bags and shifted base to the senile, decaying, cruddy, nauseatingly mephitic village of Kanpur. Warnings against this decision to join college here were plentiful from every well-wisher. Thunderbolts of high-voltage shocks were waiting to strike me as I landed in IITK. The first jolt came during orientation.

Most of my friends from New Delhi were either joining universities abroad, or enrolling with Delhi University. The image of 'college life' I had from them was one of a jovial atmosphere, a laid-back life, lots of beautiful girls, perpetually hanging out with friends, late night parties, drunk females et al. Of course, my school was just that; college life was supposed to be an extension. Almost everyone had one admonition to impart to this little kid stepping into the world beyond: “Work hard, party hard! And, for god's sake, don't fall for a woman. College life gives you a window of opportunity! Let the breeze flow in through this window, its wonderful. Don't let just one gust of wind shut it close for you.”

With these ideas in mind, I entered the large auditorium for the orientation program. My seat was right at the back which gave me good view of my 400-odd batchmates, my friends-to-be for the next four years. As I looked outside the window in search for a zephyr, the first high-intensity bolt of lightening came crashing down. Outside the window was a barren, uncultivable desert! As I saccade through the auditorium, all I can see are guys...kooky, obnoxious guys. I was about to ask the person next to me if there was any hostel for girls in IIT Kanpur, when a female-ish entity caught my attention. On closer inspection, thats exactly what it turned out to be...a female-ish entity!

Its been almost two-and-a-half years since that happened. Time is probably the best shock absorber. It doesn't feel that abnormal anymore to live in a more-or-less unisexual world. But, coming from a place like New Delhi and a sexually uniformly populated school, that first shock is still indescribable.

A few days into the orientation, as I was just getting to know the ways of IIT Kanpur, I tried talking to one of the girls while standing in a line waiting for our library cards. That itself was another shock.

Me: “Hi. I'm Siddharth. So, what branch are you in?”
She: “Why do you want to know?”
Me: “!@#$%!@&^%!@#%*”
She: (With the most bewildered expression on her face) “??”
Me: “Never mind!”

She was probably just one of those exceptional cases (hopefully). The next day, I chanced upon another conversation opportunity with a different girl. I turned my head towards her and had barely opened my mouth with the aim of breaking the ice, when the look on her face made me shut my mouth right back. She just seemed so uncomfortable with the idea of talking to me, she might as well have come out of her burkha for the first time!
With such pleasant experiences with almost 10% of the female population, I had enough reason to generalize this behavior to everyone else.

Well, a lot of time has passed since that day, and its changed everyone. Believe it or not, almost all the girls have found boyfriends for themselves. Thats where another peculiar phenomenon comes in; and I have noticed this for the first and only time in IITK. Its a really strange way that (most of) these couples behave. In fact, its almost freaky. They stick with each other 24x7x365 and just cut themselves off completely from the rest of the world (aka The Chipko Movement!). Moreover, they have managed to create a very uncomfortable aura around themselves. Its good that they like each other so much that they want to spend all the time together, but why this halo of awkwardness? I have never seen this happen anywhere else. I have a lot of friends back at home who are also couples. But, its never been weird talking to them, hanging out with them, going out for a lunch together etc. I agree that I have no business commenting on this...its their life after all, but who said you have to read this!? I cant understand why you cant live life in the same normal way irrespective of whether you are in a committed relationship.

I'm probably not even the right person to be pass judgments on something like this. I have never subscribed to the idea of commitment. Maybe the day I do start believing in it, I'll look back and read this and laugh about it. Whatever the case, I don't think I will ever let anything change the way I want to live; and, commitment or no commitment, I would always want my space, I will always want to hang out with other friends as well, go out for a movie together with common friends, get drunk on new years eve etc etc.

Kaun Banega Crorepati

2006-02-16T19:11:00.000+05:30

Greed is perhaps the most innate of all human traits. Since the day we are born, we are tutored about the righteous and the iniquitous. We are made to cram up cliches like “Laalach Buri Bala Hai.” And, sometime along the way, with experience, we even end up understanding their meaning. The true corruption in greed is, however, realized only when faced with a demanding situation. That is when Greed comes out of the deep back alleys of the mind and uncovers its grotesque face. The years of cramming up are instantly pushed right back into the same back alleys from where Greed appeared; and the generations of genetic evolution take charge. Or maybe, its just a comforting thought, to blame greed on human genetic makeup!

Resisting the unbearable urge to yield to the temptation in greed is the true test of character. Given an inch, we always want a yard...thats just how humans are. Possession of the inch just triggers some sort of a reaction which floods the brain with this deep desire for a yard. The shrewd minded have even made a business out of this involuntary reaction. Thats exactly what game shows like Who Wants to Become a Millionaire do. No one playing the game will ever be content with anything less that a million bucks. If you think of it, almost every action we do stinks of greed. Egoistic Hedonism is the fuel that runs the machinery of homo-sapiens.

I'll cut out the blabbering here, and get to the main reason for writing this post. Today, I had as close an encounter with my deep-back-alley friend Greed as I've ever had in my life. I saw his repugnant face in bright sunlight, smelt his stench, felt his mind-bending powers. Quite amazingly, typing this out really helped me analyze the entire situation. A couple of posts back, in 'Happiness is a warm gun!' I had mentioned about my paid internship in Switzerland. That had happened about a month and a half ago. Obviously I was overjoyed (yes yes...the 'forced joy'!) with the idea of roaming around Europe...all the picturesque scenery, beautiful ladies, the liquor, and of course...Amsterdam, the sex capital of the world! The moment I got the offer, I instantly committed myself to the offering university. This morning, though, Greed decided to play its ugly game with me. I got an email from Microsoft Research, USA offering me another internship. This one paid US$ 15,000! Add to that a fully furnished apartment, a car and a bright prospect for future employment! Such perks and money were, hitherto, unheard-of in IIT Kanpur. But, here came the moral dilemma. Having already committed to EPFL, Switzerland it would be impossible to go the other way now, without offending them as well as inviting some scorn on my institute! Imagine choosing between

US$ 4,200 (out of which most will be spent as cost of living in Europe) and
US$ 15,000 (most of which goes in your pocket) + employment prospects + offending a university + inviting scorn on your alma mater.

Difficult decision, eh? Greed will make the the first option seem like absolute dog-crap! But a commitment is a commitment. Laalach Buri Bala Hai!

Well, its a sweet problem to have, I agree. But its taxing on the mind, I'll tell you that.

Happy Belated Bail-in-time day!

2006-02-16T12:34:00.000+05:30

circa 9 am, Feb. 14 2006 : (Ring Ring...Ring Ring...)

It was the most hideous sound in the world, i swear! But the alarm was not supposed to ring till 2 pm. 6 am to 2 pm is supposed to be sleeping time...and everyone knows that. But still! a bloody phone call at that hour of the 'night'.

Me: yeah...what?

The-other-side: (angry incomprehensible squeaky female yakety-yak )

Me: FUCK! did i forget another birthday???? (of course i said this in my head!)

The-other-side: its valentines day...u ass. you're supposed to wish all your friends. DONT TELL ME YOU FORGOT!

Me: Of course I didn't forget! I was in the middle of composing a nice love song to sing to everyone I call up. You wanna listen? It maybe a little out of tune...

(in the most cacophonous blare i could belt out)

... “Happy Valentines Day to you! Happy Valentines Day to you! Happy Valentines Day you BITCH! Now please just BUZZ OFF!”

The-other-side: Jerk!

I can never understand this insuppressible urge that the world has to keep aside entire days for the silliest of things on the face of this planet. For gods sake! friendship day, fathers day, mothers day, teachers day, AIDS day, water day, wheat day, birthday, plant-a-tree day, Africa day...I'll be least surprised if we soon have a dog's day, cat's day, my ass day...and that'll be by death day! To top it all, we now have a love day!
All this just stinks of fakery ... of plastic ... dirty inhuman plastic. If you were really friends with someone, you wouldn't need a day to celebrate it! In that sense, 'Friendship Day' is quite an oxymoron, as is Father's Day, Mother's Day, blah blah day, AND Valentines Day. Why do you need a special day to do something special for your girlfriend (boyfriend for the non-lesbian female readers and gay male readers :P) ? In fact, being valentines day, it'll be so predictably boring. Do the same thing on a random day...and she'll probably like it better. And, more importantly, it'll be a burden off our minds...of remembering what date Valentines day is!
Birthdays have, similarly, become quite a pain in the butt. And I entirely blame the female population for infiltrating us with this carrion! A word of wisdom, ladies...guys (unless gay) do NOT like the concept of birthdays. We will be happier with life if you don't wish us on our birthdays and in return don't expect us to wish you...trust me! You have no idea how humongous-ly troublesome it is for us to fit in your birth dates in our pygmy memory buffers! Go ahead...wish each other, but puh-lease don't drag us in.
Valentines Day, coming back to it, is also, I believe, a creation of girls and the gays (gee, what a team they make!). Hey..that rhymes..

Girls and Gays..
Oh! What a team they make..

Nah! On second thought. it doesn't rhyme that much also.

Anyway, my point was..if you look at all these articles in the newspapers on Valentines Day, you'll see how they are invariably by female journalists. They, I'd say, are the sole perpetrators of this blasphemy. I was shocked to see The Times of India show a front page picture of a couple hugging in front of a shitload of roses. I'm sure there are people dying in some part of the world from some obscure disease or some inhuman act of terrorism...show us that! We've all got calls at 9 am reminding us about Valentines Day.

Whatever it is...please don't give me a call...at least not at 9 am (even on my birthday) ... i'll love you just as much (maybe even more) if you call me in the evening.

Happiness is a warm gun!

2006-02-16T08:04:00.000+05:30

Its amazing how the complexities of life inflate exponentially with age. Each passing day, ever so quietly, inconspicuously, reconstructs our metrics for happiness and satisfaction. Before we know it, the rationale behind our decisions and sentiments has undergone a metamorphosis.

A few weeks ago, I got in touch with an old friend from school. Its been almost three years since I graduated from high school, and this was the first time I was talking to her since then (I've never claimed myself to be a very social person!). The first hour of our conversation was plenteous with marveled exclamations from both sides on how much the other had changed. Speaking for myself, I was completely flabbergasted by the new identity she had developed. Yet, I was unable to account for the identical claims that she made.

Vasant Valley School : Class of 2003

After that rendezvous, I started thinking...about the years that have gone by. From the class twelve farewell party and all the way back to class nursery (whatever little I could remember of it). Thirteen years...less than four feet to almost six feet...infants to adults...and it feels like a blink in time! As my train of thoughts sped further into the past, I noticed the striking increase in the simplicity of life back then. This was, probably, the first time I was consciously pondering over the yesteryears, relishing every sweet memory.

Center Stage at school

Happiness was not a labyrinthine concept, as it is today. As kids, the simplest of things would give us immense joy. Being bought a new set of crayons, munching on a chocolate, playing hide and seek, a holiday from school, a bedtime story ... that was all it took!

With puberty came, perhaps, the first accrument in the complexity of life. We started looking at girls of our class in a whole new light! There was a newfound perception of beauty, it had a physical dimension to it now. Breasts suddenly became so prominent everywhere!! Happiness, nonetheless, remained an uncluttered emotion. Going to the movies with friends, playing truth and dare, sheepishly reading the 'The Encyclopedia of Sex' with friends during the library class, chalk-fights, school picnics ... thats all it took!

Library!

The next few years (class eight onwards) saw life getting a little busier. There was a spurt of activities: academics, sports, music, reading and other hobbies. Examinations took on a new importance. Being a good sportsman became a prestige issue. Having a girlfriend became the 'in'-thing. Life picked up a little pace and with that came new ways to be happy along with new ways to be unhappy. Satisfaction and happiness were now redefined by maxing an exam, being selected for the school cricket team, going out on a date, winning a debating competition etc. Each of these gave a feeling of content and joy.

But when I look at myself now, i get an eerie feeling of looking at a different person. This person, indeed, still finds satisfaction in maxing an exam, playing well for the cricket team, winning a competition. However, the erstwhile element of gratification is missing. The only joy in winning is that of not having to face the dejection of losing. Nothing seems to give that wholesome feeling of beatitude anymore! Happiness used to be such a natural emotion, it just seems to be getting more and more artificial. I often have to force myself into believing that I am happy with something. But, if I loosen this force, I quickly realize that the feeling is not that of happiness, rather of relief. Relief of not being unhappy.

Of course I had changed since school! And, these were just the changes within me, that I could see. What a person looks like to others is very closely coupled with what he looks like to himself from within. So, it was not inconceivable that my old friend from school thought I was a different person, just like I thought for her.

But, coming back to this issue of 'forced happiness'...the moment I realized it, the more blatant it became in almost everything I did. And this really bothered me. I think I'll write down the examples that come to my mind. My academic performance in the last semester was pretty good. This should have made me happy. What I felt, however, was a relief that I didn't flunk. A relief that the thought of failure, even after all the hard work I had put in that semester ,will not dog me. As I type this, I am even more sure it was exoneration and not happiness.
A couple of months back, I got a paid internship in the beautiful country of Switzerland. Surely, a paid three-month visit to Europe should be a cause of celebration. But...still exculpation...from the thought that I wasn't considered good enough to be accepted as an intern there.
Then, again, some friends and I participated in a business-plan competition recently. We put in a lot of effort in the entire project. As they say, hard work bears fruit: we did taste our due share of success. But the doctrine that success gives happiness seemed to fail once more. It was merely relief that the hard work didn't go waste.

The list goes on...spanning every facet of life; academics, sports, music, love, hobbies...

What could be the reason for this? I cant say that I am vexed with life. In fact, I'm quite enjoying it (hopefully!). But I want back that element of thrill with every achievement. Something down the line has stolen it away. If only I could pinpoint what that something is! The first obvious explanation would be that having experienced 'routine' instances of delectation umpteen number of times, and with my aims in life getting bigger, petty things like winning a game do not have any import anymore. But I know thats not true. For one, I still don't know what those bigger aims in life are! Moreover, it simply feels abnormal to not feel “happy” for any of these things.

I think that the degree of sanctity and exuberance are inversely proportional to the intricacies in life. Maybe, with reasons for happiness being shared by the multitude of activities in the now tangled-up life, it is only natural that this phenomenon of forced happiness occurs. Maybe...I don't know. I'm not unhappy, but the problem is that I'm not happy as well! I hope I'm not the only one. Perhaps this situation requires some more meditation before I can reach a solution.